A child is so precious. Their curiosity about the world they’re discovering, their wonder and awe of the most mundane things, their innocence, their unfiltered honesty, and their little joys are so lovely.

A part of your subconscious experiences life as a child. This inner child carries all the memories, beliefs, emotions, pain, hopes, and dreams you had as you were growing up.

There’s a side to you that comes out to play when you feel safe and cared for. You are free-spirited, happy, and creative in this element. There’s also a part of you that solves problems and emotional overwhelm like the child you once were.

Inner Child Wounds

Some of us experienced childhood trauma that deeply wounded us. Trauma comes in many forms; abandonment/neglect, abuse, accidents, bullying, instability, divorce/separation, parents with chronic illnesses, death, violence, etc.

We carried the pain from these distressing events into our adulthood. As children we did not have the right emotional coping abilities to process the pain, so for us to survive, we learned to live with it.

The unresolved traumas show up as problematic behavior, dysfunctional patterns, poor conflict resolution skills, poor emotional regulation, and unhealthy relationships.

You may have blamed yourself for any of these but remember that you were a child that went through some heavy things. None of it was your fault. Some people should have protected you and validated your feelings but they didn’t. Some events were beyond you.

The Journey of reparenting yourself

“Although we may have suffered misfortune as a child, it is never too late to re-live our childhoods and reconnect to that childlike side of ourselves. When we take responsibility for our happiness in life, we have the power to feel safe, heal ourselves, and create greater wholeness. This gift can never be taken away from us.” ~ Aletheia Luna

I wish we all had a childhood we didn’t need to heal from but that’s not the case for a majority of us who went through trauma in our formative and teenage years. Going through life feeling unseen, unheard, unloved, unsafe, and unprotected makes our human experience more difficult and that’s not what we deserve.

Reparenting yourself means meeting the needs of your inner child and taking the sacred responsibility to be the parent you needed.

“For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.” – Yong Kang Chan

This time, you will listen to your own needs, validate your reality, and cultivate self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-respect.

This time you will be heard, seen, and loved for who you are. This time no parts of you will be hidden in shame, guilt, or silence.

Here are 5 ways to Reparent Yourself:

1- Acknowledge the pain of your inner child and who caused it then release the blame.

Your parent or guardian raised you the only way they knew how. Most parents never learned how to resolve their trauma so they passed it on to their children. Their inner child needs were not met by their parents so they didn’t have enough capacity to pour into their children and fulfill their needs. Release that anger and hate towards what they did or didn’t do.

2- Validate your inner child.

If you can, visualize holding your inner child in a sweet embrace. Tell them the things you wish your parents or guardians had told you. Create an inner safe space where everything they say and who they are matters. Invite your inner child to share their most vulnerable feelings and thoughts. Remind them that the pain wasn’t their fault. Assure them that you won’t leave no matter how hard it gets.

3- Practice loving discipline with yourself.

This means creating and maintaining boundaries with yourself. Loving discipline is about gently correcting yourself when you make mistakes (self-compassion). It’s being a reliable promise keeper to yourself and honoring your needs. When you start new habits, it’s that loving discipline that will keep you on track and build self-confidence and self-reliance.

4- Practice self-care.

Learn your innermost needs, especially the ones that were not met in childhood then actively meet them through ways that support your wellbeing. Self-care is about self-preservation so do things that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. Examples include: journaling, meditation, hydration, eating balanced meals, resting, asking for help, and maintaining healthy relationships.

5- Re-find your child-like wonder.

Listen to that little voice that encourages your creativity and impulsivity. You didn’t think too much about doing things that brought you joy when you were a child – try that now! Explore your carefree side that wants to chase after the wind and run barefoot on the grass. Chase after things that bring out that big smile and those cute giggles in you. Explore your hobbies and imaginations. Stay playful and follow your passions. Live in awe like the kids do when they discover the most mundane things like the joy of playing in the rain. Chase that bliss that isn’t rooted in money or power.

This reparenting work is the best gift you can give yourself because you are making peace with the past, living wholly in the present, and approaching the future from a growth mindset. The possibilities for a life well lived are endless when you decide to heal your inner child. You have the chance for a do-over and I encourage you to take it.

This journey can get so lonely, frustrating, or bring out the worst in you but you don’t have to do it alone. We are here to guide your process and show you how to become a wise parent to your inner child. Schedule your free consultation call today.