I struck a conversation with an Uber driver the other day. Unbeknownst to him that I am a therapist, he went ahead to tell me about his two friends who had committed suicide last year.

There was a lot of pain in his voice. “Can you imagine we spent every day together and not one of them ever said anything was disturbing them?”

He couldn’t bring himself to comprehend how the people he loved didn’t feel safe enough to talk to him. “Whatever it was, I’m sure we could have found a way to solve it but we’ll never know now. It’s too late.”

For a minute I wondered if this is a thing he did. Talk to complete strangers about the death of his friends.

And before I could wonder further he said to me, “I want people to know that it’s okay for men to seek help. I want women to encourage men to seek help. We can’t keep on losing men to mental health issues.”

Just as we were diving deeper into our discussion, my trip came to an end but I gave him my card and told him to refer men to me for therapy.

I was so inspired by this man’s determination to spread the gospel of men’s mental health. Sadly, it was loss that brought him to this place but going by the many calls we’ve been receiving of men seeking help, his matches have been starting wildfires of change.

The shocking statistics and why they matter

An infographic by Mental Health America shows that;

• 6 million men suffer depression each year.
• 3 million men have a panic disorder.
• Men die by suicide 4 times more than women – ¾ of people who died of suicide in 2010 were men.

Data from Men’s mental health forum reports that;

• Nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression and anxiety.
• About 6 of every 10 men experience at least one trauma in their lives.
• 49% of men feel more depressed than they admit.

These numbers matter because they represent the real lives and every-day experiences of men.

Men who are going through life without experiencing its fullness because of a mental health issue.

Men who gave up because they felt like there’s was nothing further they could do to save themselves from the abyss of never-ending agony.

Men who continue to numb through the pain without talking about it because they don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable in a society that demands them to be tough and unfazed by life’s issues.

Men who “suck it up” because it is considered weakness; they would rather brave through the storm than admit that it’s killing them even in the face of insurmountable pressure.

Men who have lived through intergenerational trauma and they continue to pass it on to posterity, sometimes unknowingly because they don’t know any better.

What symptoms should you look out for?

Anxiety, Depression, and Trauma don’t have just one face to them. It isn’t merely just sadness and feelings of unhappiness. It can also be;

• Exhaustion
• Loss of interest in life or hobbies
• Irritability
• Irregular sleeping patterns
• Fluctuations in appetite
• Substance abuse
• Hopelessness
  

  

If left untreated through therapy, these mental health issues can negatively affect the quality of a man’s life.

• He may have reduced morale and productivity which may lead to job loss or a decline in school performance.
• His relationships stand a risk of dying, becoming strained, unhealthy, or toxic. He may lose people in his life that he cares about.
• Feelings of unhappiness may result in him indulging in self-destructing behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse or physical self-harm.

5 benefits of therapy for men

• A safe non-judgmental space to vent

Therapy is the one place the curtains go down and your vulnerability is highly encouraged. It is not like your place of work where you have to keep up appearances of being a macho man. You are truly seen and heard for who you are in therapy. Your journey is what matters and your overall well-being. It is a place to lay down all the weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders.

• You heal years of trauma and toxicity

You get to become the best version of yourself when you intentionally seek the help you need. You deserve to have experiences that aren’t entirely shaped by your trauma or depression. An anxiety-free life where you easily do what you want without worrying too much. Therapy gives you the opportunity to do that!

• Therapy helps with unlearning

You get to deconstruct the warped views you have of yourself, masculinity, and life in general. Most of our adult years are really about shedding all the years of social conditioning from our upbringing and trying to find our original thoughts, opinions and, voice on issues. You are not right or wrong in therapy because you are allowed the freedom to question what you know in order to come to a place of understanding and re-learning.

• Your relationships improve

When you are constantly working towards healing and becoming a better version of yourself, the relationships in your life become better. You become a better man, son, father, colleague, and spouse. And people can pick up on this improved you energy which could inspire them. Your emotional intelligence also grows leaps and bounds because you’re now able to process your emotions; therefore you become aware of other people’s emotions easily.

• You get to be the one who changes the narrative

The truth is that not many men seek therapy therefore the dysfunctional cycles in society continue to be propelled. When you seek therapy, you stand in the gap for the people who follow in your footsteps. You end the generations of trauma that plague your family. You become the shining light for your sons and a hero for your daughters all because you chose to do better.

Emotional peace is attainable for you. You deserve a life free of the shackles of mental health issues. Our lines are always open for a 15-minute consultation. Therapy is how you fully show up for yourself and we’re here to guide the process.